A Daughters Love
I'm the elder of four children, I'm married with two daughters the apples of my dads eyes, Lynda-kay & Katie-Louise, losing my Dad was really hard to cope with and even the fact that he had been ill for many years didn't help. My dad was a very special person who I loved very much he may not have been prefect in everybody's eyes but his imperfections added to his uniqueness, I think one of the hardest thing I needed to deal with was my daughters crying I hated the fact, that I was unable to stop the pain for them and they needed to come to terms with it their own way, its not like a cut were you can put on a bandage and kiss it better. My dad seemed to thing that he had do more for my elder daughter Lynda, but when Katie came along he was getting ill, he did try to spend time with her but found it hard to hold her with his daily aches and pains but she did understand. He really did love both girls very much, and he loved the cards and pictures they draw and sent him, he enjoyed to listen to them telling him anything from a joke to a problem they had. I know that both girls are going to miss their grandad, but they do have lots of lovely memories of this wonderful man, who loved them both and he gave them the best gift in the world his love and time, I now hope that as my daughters grow up, my dad will have a place in their hearts, and then they love back and remember their Grandad, its with the love they have today.

When you've lost someone special in your life you go into many different types of moods, and you feel guilty and mixed up. My first mood was upset then anger, who was I mad at I don't really know maybe the situation, one day I had a dad maybe he was ill and in bed, but he was there and then the next day there was a empty body were was my dad, I find it hard to deal with were was the person I known all my life, he was not this body that lay in the chapel of rest . My dad had a smile and a wicked twinkle in his eyes, his voice was soft and gentle and he was warm, and this body was nothing like that, it looked like him but it was nothing like my dad. So is there more to death, I don't really know but I really hope so Then the feeling of emptiness what will fill that, maybe the memories or maybe your just yet use to that feeling and it always going to be there part of me. I'm still not use to being without my dad but the pain is easier to bear now, and I'm able to carry on with my life being a wife and mother. Death made me look at life a different way, life is to short and I'm going to enjoy mine and give my family a lot of wonderful memories to remember me with. I do know that if there's life after death Dad will meet me when take that last breath in this world till then I will look after my treasured memories, and my families................
My dad gave me a lot in his life, mainly his time and his love, and the only bad thing he ever did was to die and leave me. It's been seven weeks since we said goodbye, but the pain is no better, only more bearable some days I may forget that he's gone and that it will hit me like a ton of bricks and the pain there again, and a guilty feeling that I had lost him for a while.


A Fathers Day Love
I once knew a man, Who suffered Who gave everything he could, Until he couldn't go on no longer. The man I once knew, I will always remember, As my dad how I miss you every waking day I miss your warm hands, and your beautiful eyes Even in your pain they sparkle and shined and I miss the talks we had how I wish I'd had more time to say how I loved you so i felt so save in your love No matter what happened in my life you could make my gray skies blue. Dad, if I could turn back time and once more hear your voice; I'd tell you that out of all the dads you would still be my choice. dad how I miss you so so many images come to mind whenever I speak your name Years may come and go but your memory will never be erased. The times we laughed, played and even fought will be cherished forever All I have now is great memories, a heart full of love and eyes full of tears, If I had my life to do over, I'd have chosen you to be my dad


Bonfire Night
Dad this is another night you would have enjoyed.No matter how you felt you would be outside to watch the fire works (except one year when you was to ill to get out of bed so we moved your bed nearer to the window so you could watch ). When you so outside wrapped up better than the girls. Gary would keep the fire going and Martin would set off the fireworks. I would never know if you or the girls enjoyed them most.
This years different the fireworks will go on and you will not be in your chair watching.
Tonight the fire works lite the night sky and the Girls loved them. We spoke about you alot Dad, the things you did and said last year.this was a funny fireworks night we all drifted back to parties before so Dad you was with us again this year but it was not the smoke of the fire that made my eyes water this time love and miss you Dad


Memorial Service
10 November 2oo2
Today was the day that you taught us to remember the men and women who had died in war,
and here we were at St Marys Church Rolleston remembering your life at a bereavement service, with
Rev Ian Whitehead,again many thanks to him.
Your name was read out and a candle lit by Lynda in your memory,and tonight it was show to me that
we are not alone in grief but one of many and it felt good to be there with other families that had also
been bereaved this year.
Tears fell as we prayed and sang because i find it so hard to face, that you are no longer with us. Tonight
i did learn one thing and that was it can take a long time to get over your death and its not wrong to take
a step back. and grief can be a friend as it brings you near.
God bless you Dad as you were a blessing to me.


A Birthday Wish
15 November 2oo2 your 71st birthday{21 again)
Just a little message from your daughter.
you never said I'm leaving and never said goodbye
you was gone before I knew it,
you taught me many things while sitting on your lap
you gave me something i couldn't hold cannot be bought and can't be sold
your love
I miss you so much
and I'll be thinking of you all throughout this day.
like i do every day, but today will be different.
as its the day to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I thank God so much for letting me grow up with someone who gave so much
thats why I find myself wanting to share my memories of you with everyone.
its my way of keeping you alive.
I believe that you lived a great life.
Your Mum would have been so proud of you and now she can wish you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I love you dad
This will be the first birthday without you Dad, and I know it will be hard.
We will have to place a flowers at your tree instead of celebrating over cake and ice cream.
I know in time it will get easier,until then
I will always treasure my memories I've kept since I was young.
I know that they will always be there and no one can take them away.
those things that will never wear out and die memories Of a man that i respect:
That's my Dad.............! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD

Merry Christmas Dad
First Christmas Without you
missing you this Christmas
i know that this Christmas
is going to be
a very lonely time
for you wont be here with me
to share it
i really am going to miss you this Christmas
for although there will be
inside i will still be lonely
its so hard being apart from you
and for some reason it seems even harder
at this time of year
for i really need you in my life
i need to feel the warmth of a dads touch
and to see the love in your eyes
and though i know that this is impossible
i would like you to know
that i will be thinking of you
and that although you cannot
be with us in person
you are always in my heart
and thats the place you'll stay
merry Christmas dad






new year